Ohhh, You Mean I Can't Just Read About Exercise and Lose Weight?

A year ago, I just knew I was going to go on for a PhD in Exercise Science (to compliment my BS and MS degrees). I thought this even though I never found a passion for the major. Sure, some semesters were better than others and I learned sooo much, but it just never clicked. I couldn’t decide on a thesis topic and I couldn’t imagine having a typical exercise-related job. I had already done all the personal training, fitness testing and gym work I could handle. It bothered me that my peers completely loved the field while I didn’t. For some reason, I faked it instead of investigating the issue. You can’t seriously “change majors” six years in, can you?

FYI: My boyfriend and I met sophomore year of our undergrad program and went on to the same grad school (same major, same classes). We both assumed we’d get our PhD from the same college as well. Not in an immature way, but in a realistic “we love school, want to stay together, and happen to be in the same major” sort of way.

A little over a year ago, my boyfriend and I took a road trip (from CA) to tour a prospective doctoral program in New Mexico. To me, the campus visit felt all wrong. A professor sat us down and told us about the program. As I stared at her face and heard her words, I realized that another exercise physiology course would kill my soul. It was the first time in six years that I told myself the actual truth – that this path wasn’t “it” for me and it was time to change course no matter what.

It was an all-encompassing, instantaneous mind shift and I never looked back.  Graduating with my MS degree 5 months later was the ultimate freeing moment of my life.

So, here I am in Indiana. Where my boyfriend found his PhD program. Unlike me, this is the field for him and he is doing an awesome job.

Yes, I am in the midst of an awkward transitional phase, but it feels better than the “safety” of wherever I was before. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

**To any ex phys or kinesiology majors out there: The major can be great and is a perfect fit for some people. Eight of my graduate-school friends went on to PhD programs this year, and they love it. Fitness is important and I’ll always be thankful for what I know and for my ability to lift weights like a pro.

A Quarter Century Later (Or, Why Turning 25 is Awesome)

Tomorrow brings about two things: one, my California driver’s license expires and two, I’m turning 25. Do I regret not going to the Indiana DMV and taking care of business? Yes. Will an expired out-of-state license mean I’ll need to take an actual behind-the-wheel driving test for an Indiana license? I don’t know.

BUT, this is about being happy to turn 25.

First of all, I refuse to get bummed out over age. I don’t want to feel sad on every birthday from here on out. When I’m 50, I’ll consider 25 as an extension of childhood. Why wait another 25 years to look back and say, “Wow! 25 is legit!!”?

Yes, I’ve been moping around lately. I wish I had more money, I wish I was in better shape with epic clothes, I wish I saw my family more, I wish I was more motivated to do whatever it is I assume I should be doing, etc. But, even with all that, I’m happy to be turning 25 because I’m doing things that are, in my personal opinion, cool things to do.

Yes, some things suck. Like, planning to put any birthday money towards rent and then realizing that, like usual, birthday cards are coming late…AKA not in time to contribute to March rent. Yay, 25-years-old and $80 short!

But, you know what? I live in Muncie now. Where Pabst Blue Ribbon is $1 a mug (yes, I know it’s called PBR and it's the kool-aid of beer -- but, it's good enough for me and my broke ass). Plus, the bartender is cool and will probably give me some free beers. So, I’m going out tomorrow night, Muncie-style, to celebrate an awesome birthday for an awesome age.

My cake from last year.

I'm My Boss (Should I Fire Myself Now?)

Working from home is so bizarre. It felt like sunshine the first few months. If anything woke me up early, whether it was 6 or 8 AM, I leapt out of bed and set up my laptop for the day. I’d spend hours working at a coffee shop or sit at home switching between work and Netflix.

Working from home lets me maintain my mission of “Absolute Snow Avoidance” (I used to think 55 degrees was freezing). As far as my California brain is concerned, seeing snow out my window is like being transported to Mars and seeing that shit outside my window.  

Here I am, many months later, and I’ve lost my spark. I have trouble getting started and I get frustrated during the writing process. I’m sure that’s normal, but it’s stopping me from earning enough money to enjoy my day-to-day life. And, I'm not talking about mall shopping -- I'm talking about toothpaste. All day, my brain is haunted by insufficient funds and anger at my laziness/lack of motivation/self sabotage.

I am determined to love the work again. Six months from now I’ll be starting grad school and (hopefully) an on campus job. I may never have such a flexible schedule again. So I need to enjoy it for what it is.

On that note, it’s time for me to get more work done!

Writing Letters to Myself and Scrubbing Headstones

Moving from California to Indiana was an emotional freak show. Most Californians/my friends figured Muncie must be the equivalent of an abandoned used-car lot full of corn, snow and misery. Since I had never actually been there, I couldn’t confirm or deny that fact.

In times of impending change or crisis I like to write letters to my future self while I still have some sort of sanity/happiness intact. So three days before my 2,000 + mile journey into the unknown I wrote out some lessons learned from previous moves and transitions:

From July 21^st 2010:

What is a transitional struggle?

·         It is something that has an ending.

·         You can’t avoid it completely but you can take action to lessen the pain and expedite the process.

·         It occurs when you have to get used to a life that is completely new from what you were previously living.

·         It is probably a requirement for living an interesting life.

High school ended, undergrad ended, your graduate studies are ending now, and one day Muncie will end. Transitional struggle is a normal and required process for establishing yourself in a new place. But let’s have a proactive struggle, let’s accept the struggle for what it is.

The end.

Anyway, over six months into it and I can easily say the experience has been nothing like I expected. I loved the town instantly, was accepted into a new graduate program, found a ton of awesome bars, tried many new things, found an unexpected way to make money (freelance writing), etc. Yes, my struggle has been proactive.

Before I found a job, I decided to spend my time learning and trying new things (if I couldn’t actually earn money). So I volunteer at a historical library where I get to handle 120-year-old handwritten documents and I volunteered with a preservation society dedicated to rehabilitating abandoned pioneer cemeteries (AKA scrubbing and reconstructing 140-year-old headstones). Stuff like that.

Downtown Muncie

I live two blocks from downtown. I love the old buildings and coffee shops. I wish it looked like this now. Instead, it's cold and covered in snow!

In Muncie, It Rains Bricks Not Money

Some people go through a transition and move somewhere exciting. Seven months ago, I moved from Southern California to a small college town called Muncie, Indiana. My apartment is in a 105-year-old brick building. Almost every day, brick dust crumbles from the wall onto my furniture. But, I love living alone in my old, one-bedroom apartment with 9 huge windows. My boyfriend lives in his own apartment upstairs, but that’s another story.

I spent the last 6 years getting a BS and MS degree in Kinesiology. That fact leans more towards “mistake” than “greatest event of all time”. After years of agonizing introspection, I will be starting the graduate journalism program at Ball State University this fall. Which means I have 6 months until that happens.

For me, job hunting in Muncie went like this: Assumed I’d find a job instantly, sent out 30+ resumes, sat at a hiring agency, got desperate and applied to over 15 fast-food jobs, received ONE call back. From McDonalds. Oh, and I turned down the 10 PM to 4 AM shift at Jimmy John’s (Gourmet Sandwiches). PS. I love making sandwiches…I worked at Quiznos for awhile.

Somehow, after months of desperation, I began writing online fitness articles for a content mill (the same week McDonalds called for an interview). Now, I work from home, write for money, and utilize what I learned in college. A pretty spectacular turn of events.

BUT. It isn’t perfect. I still struggle to earn rent money (only $375 a month!). I don’t get out much. I write about “boring” topics such as muscles and fat loss. AND, I feel antisocial. So, starting this blog gives me something else to write about (me) and makes me feel like I’m talking to people. Feel free to talk back.