I'm My Boss (Should I Fire Myself Now?)

Working from home is so bizarre. It felt like sunshine the first few months. If anything woke me up early, whether it was 6 or 8 AM, I leapt out of bed and set up my laptop for the day. I’d spend hours working at a coffee shop or sit at home switching between work and Netflix.

Working from home lets me maintain my mission of “Absolute Snow Avoidance” (I used to think 55 degrees was freezing). As far as my California brain is concerned, seeing snow out my window is like being transported to Mars and seeing that shit outside my window.  

Here I am, many months later, and I’ve lost my spark. I have trouble getting started and I get frustrated during the writing process. I’m sure that’s normal, but it’s stopping me from earning enough money to enjoy my day-to-day life. And, I'm not talking about mall shopping -- I'm talking about toothpaste. All day, my brain is haunted by insufficient funds and anger at my laziness/lack of motivation/self sabotage.

I am determined to love the work again. Six months from now I’ll be starting grad school and (hopefully) an on campus job. I may never have such a flexible schedule again. So I need to enjoy it for what it is.

On that note, it’s time for me to get more work done!

Writing Letters to Myself and Scrubbing Headstones

Moving from California to Indiana was an emotional freak show. Most Californians/my friends figured Muncie must be the equivalent of an abandoned used-car lot full of corn, snow and misery. Since I had never actually been there, I couldn’t confirm or deny that fact.

In times of impending change or crisis I like to write letters to my future self while I still have some sort of sanity/happiness intact. So three days before my 2,000 + mile journey into the unknown I wrote out some lessons learned from previous moves and transitions:

From July 21^st 2010:

What is a transitional struggle?

·         It is something that has an ending.

·         You can’t avoid it completely but you can take action to lessen the pain and expedite the process.

·         It occurs when you have to get used to a life that is completely new from what you were previously living.

·         It is probably a requirement for living an interesting life.

High school ended, undergrad ended, your graduate studies are ending now, and one day Muncie will end. Transitional struggle is a normal and required process for establishing yourself in a new place. But let’s have a proactive struggle, let’s accept the struggle for what it is.

The end.

Anyway, over six months into it and I can easily say the experience has been nothing like I expected. I loved the town instantly, was accepted into a new graduate program, found a ton of awesome bars, tried many new things, found an unexpected way to make money (freelance writing), etc. Yes, my struggle has been proactive.

Before I found a job, I decided to spend my time learning and trying new things (if I couldn’t actually earn money). So I volunteer at a historical library where I get to handle 120-year-old handwritten documents and I volunteered with a preservation society dedicated to rehabilitating abandoned pioneer cemeteries (AKA scrubbing and reconstructing 140-year-old headstones). Stuff like that.

Downtown Muncie

I live two blocks from downtown. I love the old buildings and coffee shops. I wish it looked like this now. Instead, it's cold and covered in snow!

In Muncie, It Rains Bricks Not Money

Some people go through a transition and move somewhere exciting. Seven months ago, I moved from Southern California to a small college town called Muncie, Indiana. My apartment is in a 105-year-old brick building. Almost every day, brick dust crumbles from the wall onto my furniture. But, I love living alone in my old, one-bedroom apartment with 9 huge windows. My boyfriend lives in his own apartment upstairs, but that’s another story.

I spent the last 6 years getting a BS and MS degree in Kinesiology. That fact leans more towards “mistake” than “greatest event of all time”. After years of agonizing introspection, I will be starting the graduate journalism program at Ball State University this fall. Which means I have 6 months until that happens.

For me, job hunting in Muncie went like this: Assumed I’d find a job instantly, sent out 30+ resumes, sat at a hiring agency, got desperate and applied to over 15 fast-food jobs, received ONE call back. From McDonalds. Oh, and I turned down the 10 PM to 4 AM shift at Jimmy John’s (Gourmet Sandwiches). PS. I love making sandwiches…I worked at Quiznos for awhile.

Somehow, after months of desperation, I began writing online fitness articles for a content mill (the same week McDonalds called for an interview). Now, I work from home, write for money, and utilize what I learned in college. A pretty spectacular turn of events.

BUT. It isn’t perfect. I still struggle to earn rent money (only $375 a month!). I don’t get out much. I write about “boring” topics such as muscles and fat loss. AND, I feel antisocial. So, starting this blog gives me something else to write about (me) and makes me feel like I’m talking to people. Feel free to talk back.